As an artist it can sometimes be hard to share my work. Usually the majority of the photos I make don’t hit the mark for me, don’t really live up to the ideals I have in my mind, don’t fulfill this arbitrary idea of what a good photograph is. I really don’t shoot as much as I think I ought, and when I do take photos intentionally I often spend half the time beating myself up for making images that are less than perfect. But I want to change this pattern. I want to create out of a desire to explore and find beauty, not out of a desire to perform to a certain standard, not out of a wish to prove myself — because there is nothing to prove.
So today I’m sharing a few photos I made over the weekend, because I had fun making them and I enjoy what they are, in spite of their imperfections. It is true that I can always do better, but that being the case means that at every juncture I will be able to gaze ahead and find fault with where I am, unless I learn to be okay with the present, whatever it looks like.
I am setting up a simple studio space in my room for a project that I’m working on (and not ready to announce just yet), and this is where I made these photos on Saturday. Friday night I had my friend Joey over and watched a movie, and he spent the night so that in the morning we could have coffee and pancakes and conversation. Another friend, Spencer, joined us as well, lent his superior knowledge of lighting and portraiture to me for a bit, and made a few photos of me. The morning was about more than any one activity; it was about sharing intentionally with those willing to participate. The space that I live in is a spot that I want always to build around this ideal: sharing life with others in comfort and safety. The portraits I make here are to be an extension of this thought, and that goes along with my reason for building the space anyway. It is to be a space of safety, where people can safely be and discover who they truly are. More on that soon.
Anyway, without any further introduction, here are the photos. I hope you enjoy them.
love,
— Joel
Geeky Things
Camera: Fuji X-Pro2
Lenses: Fuji 35mm f/2 & Minolta Rokkor 58mm f/1.4
Processor: Capture One 20
Location: Springdale, AR
Notes: Eventually I’ll be lighting this space using strobe, but for now I must make use of window light (when the sun is up anyway), so that’s what these were lit with. I’m using paper backdrops from Savage (this one is #76 Mocha) which will be mounted to the ceiling soon, though for this shoot we just taped them up. I bought an old wooden stool from a local flea market for the subject to sit on, and the backdrop is plenty long enough for me to include it if I want to. During the time we were shooting I tried out all three of my Fuji lenses (16mm, 35mm and 90mm), as well as my old Minolta, and these images are from that lens and the 35mm; the Minolta shots actually ended up being the ones I was most pleased with. As always I processed everything in Capture One, and used Classic Chrome as my colour base.