I have been enjoying a long day of sunshine these last months. The Lord of Light has been very near, and I have become aware of His love as I have not been before. He has been teaching me in the light of day, and in peaceful pastures He has pointed out to me the demons I have let creep into my heart and given homes to. Sitting with Him in the green grass under the shade of his love I have seen the ugliness hidden still within me, and given it to Him in gratefulness, and with tears. I have felt such joy, and such a desire to share it, and I have lived in the bright summer days. Yet there are always new seasons, and the change from one to the next comes often with darkness and testing. How am I to know that my trust is true, if it is never tried? The Lord is always faithful — but do I believe Him so in my deepest heart?
I have entered the night. In a moment, the sun set and the day changed, and I found myself in the darkness. Less lonely than I have felt before, as my Abba has been at my side, holding my hand and leading me with His voice. Even when I have been unable to see even the ground in front of me, His presence has been a foundation surer than any other.
I can see now a dim light as of the coming of dawn, and yet it is not here. Still I sit in this place where I can see little, where the presence of my God is needed so desperately, and where His voice is heard as the sound of salvation and life, solid ground where any step can sink into the mire. I have cried out to my Abba, and He has comforted me, and been near. The dawn is on the way. But still it tarries.
“Weeping may last for the night,
but with the morning comes a shout of joy...”
The morning is coming. Yet knowing this to be true, my desire is that I would not waste the night. The dark times shape us, train us to rely upon the sight of our heart and the sound of our Lord’s gentle footfalls. In the months leading up to this difficult season I have slowed my pace as I never have before, yet internally I have moved with a speed greater than I’ve experienced at any other time, learning and growing and praising my God as He has taught me, shaped me, filled me with laughter and put tears of joy into my eyes at the remembrance of His love. Never before have I been so ready and willing to speak of His faithfulness. Yet I see now that this time was not to no purpose, but was intended to prepare me for a new thing, a change.
There is always change on the horizon, always a new wind blowing, following upon the heels of the familiar breeze. I have been learning to enjoy the familiar while it lasts, to live in the love of today and appreciate its safety. But as the change comes and I feel the weight of the setting sun, I hold onto what I know to be true of my God in the day, knowing that He is consistent and faithful. I have crossed over the threshold, and there is no turning back. But with me is my Lord, and with Him at my side I can walk any path.
Love,
Joel