So often I am at a loss for words when it comes to things of this sort. I know I want to talk about it, to put my thoughts into words, to share my heart with others, and I sit down to do so, over coffee or at the computer, and find my mouth and mind both shut. Like a locked door, the key for which is somewhere on my person, yet somehow lost. All I can manage to get out is what I can squeeze through the keyhole. But I will try my best to show you what’s beyond that door.
Maybe it all comes down to being a heart matter, something no one other than myself can see in quite the same way that I see it, but maybe something that others can understand in another way. Through each person’s life God speaks to them in the most intimate of ways and through the most personal of circumstances, so that trying to bring others to grasp what He’s spoken to you can be an almost overwhelming task. But to be able to say that God is speaking to you … to know in your very soul that the Lord has called you out of darkness into His marvellous light, has saved you from your sins, and broken your chains, chains you weren’t aware before that you were shackled with; to feel the draw of His Spirit, not to any selfish goal, but to a purpose greater than yourself and everlasting beyond this present world, to know that your purpose is greater than even you could understand; to have ambition to succeed not as the world sees success, but as Jesus Christ does — to do all things for the glory of God, and to feel and know that that is what your life has been designed for; in every tiny task, in the greatest ventures, in the living of life and the eating and drinking of food and water… To have this royal purpose given to you: this is the grandest thing in life.
I do have ambition, I have great ambition. Not to work a respectable job, not to drive a model car and waste away my hours in a model home, but to work for the glory of my Saviour and King, to spend my days in His everlasting house. I want to win souls for the glory of the Almighty, to share with aching hearts the mercy and love of Christ, to shepherd the lost sheep of the house of Israel into the peace of the pasture of the Lord, where He can bind up their wounds and heal them of their hurts, wipe away their tears and usher them into His eternal joy. I want to live a life than in every way glorifies the One who has given me freedom, through the words that I speak, the images I create, the places I go, the very light of my eyes; I want to bring to light what has been left in darkness, in my own life, that I may show to others that their shame need not continue, that their wrongs can be forgiven and their debt has been paid. I want my life to be a testament to the gospel of Jesus — Jesus, who is the Way and the Truth and the Life; Jesus, who died upon a cross that I might live forever with Him; Jesus, who lived a perfect life and yet took upon Himself, willingly, the penalty for every wrong I ever committed, for every sin of every man and woman to breathe since the world was made by the word of His own mouth. My God, my God! that all would know You!
Lord, let me remain in this mind; let me always seek for Your Kingdom, and be ever ready to speak Your praises; let the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O God, and let me draw others to You through the light of my life which You have granted me. Give me ambition, Father, to see Your glory spread through all the world, and through all my life.
Though all the world my choice deride,
Yet Jesus shall my portion be;
For I am pleased with none beside,
The fairest of the fair is He.
— Joel