I’ve been on the road for ten days, have covered well over a thousand miles, and passed through seven different states, and have not yet found anywhere that I really want to stay for long. Which is not what I expected when disembarking from the rather crummy little town I’ve called home for some ten odd years of my life.
Traveling by yourself is difficult, especially when you struggle with chronic depression, and know nearly no one in the areas that you planned on visiting when you headed out. What I’ve come to think from this experience thus far (recognising that I’ve not actually been gone for very long), is that while God first gave Adam a world to explore, the second thing He gave him was the more important: a companion. People are the most beautiful thing that God ever created, and the most vital to survival — more than survival, but true, joyful living. Because a person can exist anywhere; depending upon your personality you will prefer certain places to others, but if it came to it, we would all choose to live in even our least favourite location if it meant being with those we love and are loved by, if the alternative was living in the most beautiful place, but without any sort of community.
Now the fact is that friends and loved ones can be found anywhere. The difficult part of it is actually meeting those individuals who you connect with, especially in the midst of a crowd. And even after you’ve met those special ones who you want to keep around, you’re left with the task of figuring out a way to keep yourself around — getting work, and a place to live. Not a one of those difficulties is easily surmounted, particularly for an introvert with confidence issues.
Making this journey was a gamble for me, to say the least. Though I said before that the prospect of staying home and not giving it a try was the more frightening course, and I still believe that. Much easier, to be sure, but more frightening as well. I had assumed that I would come out to the west coast, meet lots of wonderful people all over the place, and begin making money on my photography before very long at all, enabling myself to continue living in the west, where I would no doubt find the home of my dreams. None of that has come true yet. I have met some wonderful people along the way, though proportionally very few, considering how much ground I’ve covered. I haven’t made a penny from anyone, nor have I stepped any closer to doing so, it would seem. Rather, I’ve surrounded myself with strangers who don’t glance at me any longer than they do at anyone else on the overcrowded streets, let alone stop to inquire if I’ve any valuable skills that they might like to purchase. Seattle and Portland are two areas already over-saturated with talented individuals and wanderlusty travellers, many of whom already know the market and how to monetize their abilities within it. I don’t fit in, and I honestly don’t believe that I ever will. I’m a simple man at heart, and not used or attracted to big cities. Maybe the south is more my style.
And that’s the simple truth of it. I am, I believe, an artist with a great deal of talent and potential, yet very little business ability or network. I have not yet found any place that I would like to remain in, but I shall keep looking. I am being forced more and more to realise that I simply cannot do anything but trust in God to carry me along. And that in itself is as much as I seem able to handle for the time being.
— Joel
P.S. If you are interested in seeing photos from my journey, the most comprehensive collection of them is located here on my website. Otherwise, follow along on Instagram.